Remy’s first order of business: Making Hank Steinbrenner shut up

The ever-heroic Jerry Remy was sworn in as president of Red Sox Nation in Washington on Wednesday. Just two days later, he’s already facing his first national crisis.

Remy must defend his people from an attack by Hank Steinbrenner, who continues to make an ass of himself.

“Red Sox Nation?” Hank says. “What a bunch of [expletive] that is. That was a creation of the Red Sox and ESPN, which is filled with Red Sox fans. Go anywhere in America and you won’t see Red Sox hats and jackets, you’ll see Yankee hats and jackets. This is a Yankee country. We’re going to put the Yankees back on top and restore the universe to order.”

I’d like to see that $9.95 Red Sox Nation membership fee invested in a Hank Steinbrenner missile defense system.